Middle of the year, for a middle of the road expansion.
Recently we finished up the missing Achievements for TOB with the roaming spark being the last one (go figure its not actually hard if the guild stays still).
Anyway, we tend to do this most years, and that is kinda routine,
What isn’t routine is the secret behind what made it possible this year.
Wonderdog
I managed to catch up with our secret weapon recently.
Wonderdog, no stranger to danger, many often hear his name whispered in awe, an MVP of raids and perhaps the key to the lock of Age of Unity and our intrepid raiding.
[Zaph]:
Hello Wonderdog, let me take this opportunity to thank you for agreeing to take part in this interview. First of all, can you tell me a little about yourself, your motivations and goals?
[Wonderdog]:
Ah yes, the legend speaks. I am Wonderdog: terror of trash mobs, bane of named, chewer of ankles both small and large. My motivation? Glory. My goal? To one day live through an entire fight. Lofty, I know. But when you’re this magnificent, the world expects miracles every pull—and I deliver… about 40% of the time.
[Zaph]:
That’s incredible to hear, Wonderdog! Now, let me take you back to your earliest memories of raiding. There is little doubt you launched yourself running into the fray. What in your own words are the defining moments that began your destructive onslaught?
[Wonderdog]:
Ah, the early days! Who could forget the epic “Oops-he-pulled-again” incident during the Plane of Fear clear? Or the time I bit the knees of Cazic-Thule and lived to be re-summoned? My finest hour, though, was when I single-pawedly distracted a boss for a full 0.7 seconds while everyone else regrouped. Truly, I am the linchpin of every victory—and occasionally, the reason for every wipe. Balance, you see.
[Zaph]:
How do you keep your fur so glossy?
[Wonderdog]:
Easy: the blood of defeated bosses, infused with moderate lag and the tears of druids who got outhealed by my regen aura. You want this shine? You gotta earn it—one tragic respawn at a time.
[Zaph]:
And I’m sure there are many more tales with tails, Wonderdog. We could be here for days, but I’ll interject a moment. When you joined the guild, you were to many, including myself, just another face in the crowd. But it was obvious pretty quickly you were the exception to the rule, the full stop to the sentence. Were you prepared for—sorry, I’ll correct that—of course you were—the overwhelming admiration and icon you were quickly recognised to be?
[Wonderdog]:
Naturally. The admiration? Expected. The songs? Deserved. The portrait someone made out of bone chips and vendor trash? A bit much—but flattering. I bask in the glow of loot I don’t get to keep and XP I technically don’t earn. But fame has its price: I can’t go anywhere without being patted or accidentally healed. It’s exhausting being this beloved and this expendable.
[Zaph]:
A loss for words is something I am unfamiliar with personally, but you have managed to break the barrier of language and art with ease.
Any final thoughts for us as we sign off?
[Wonderdog]:
Yes. Let it be known: I am not a pet. I am an institution. You cannot replace Wonderdog—you can only delay the inevitable summoning of Wonderdog 2.0. To all raid leaders: stop targeting me with AoEs as a joke. To shaman everywhere: keep the biscuits coming. And to the mobs who think I’m just a fluffball with a growl? I hope you enjoy dental records, because that’s all they’ll find. Woof.
Wonderdog also wants to know where his money is for this
As I was writing this news report, I did notice a odd screenshot, and I have to wonder, who watches the watchmen
